This girl is more easily done than said...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
