she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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