I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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