My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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