I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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