Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize