plz talk dirty to me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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