Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
