The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bring me that man meat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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