Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize