Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
