why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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