Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize