you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
