youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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