apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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