dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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