i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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