# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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