i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
