I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize