i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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