It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
