I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
