youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
