You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
