He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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