I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
