If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
