In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
