So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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