i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think my fart just growled at me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
