There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
