I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I see more hoeing in ur future
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