I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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