Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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