Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
