SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do herpes really smell.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
