so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
