Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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