whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
