Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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