We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
