I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
