are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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