in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
