worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
