break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
