That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
