I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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