it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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