Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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