Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i drank out of a bidet.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
