i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
