i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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