His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
