For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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