There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
