i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
